Do we keep ourselves stuck?

While recently on my morning walk a question kept repeating in my head, “Do we keep ourselves stuck?” I couldn’t shake it. I could picture times in my life where I made decisions that didn’t make sense. They were totally out of alignment with what I was trying to work on or goals I was trying to achieve. At the time I didn’t realise I was doing it. I always had a valid reason why I should be making that decision. However in hindsight, I was keeping myself stuck.

Whether it's in our personal lives or professional journeys, we've all faced moments where progress seems impossible. We feel stuck. Like our feet are set in concrete. We try so hard to move forward however we are staying in the one place knowing we want to be moving but can’t find a way.

Understanding the Feeling of Being Stuck

It's a familiar scenario: you have goals, ambitions, and dreams, but for some reason, you find yourself unable to move forward. This feeling can manifest in various forms. You might feel like you're not progressing in your career, you're stuck in a job that doesn't light you up, or you're working towards a goal that seems perpetually out of reach. It feels like everything is out of reach. 

Common Reasons for Feeling Stuck

Many factors contribute to this feeling of inertia. Often, it's not just external circumstances but also our own behaviors and decisions. It's easy to blame external factors such as responsibilities at home, demanding jobs, finances, skill set, age or geographical limitations. The list we create can be as long as we choose and as hard as we look. While these factors can be legitimate, at that point in time, they aren't often the sole reason for our stagnation. They are just the easier things to blame.

Self-Sabotage and Decision-Making

One critical aspect of feeling stuck is the concept of self-sabotage. It's not that we intentionally make our lives harder, but our subconscious decisions can keep us in the same place. For example, setting a goal to avoid drinking alcohol for a month but keeping a bottle of wine in the fridge is a classic setup for failure. The wine in the fridge is a reminder, a temptation of what we are missing out on, so when our will power drops or we have a hard day or our emotions get the better if us, it becomes really easy to reach into the fridge and open the bottle. Then the cycle continues of feeling guilty, angry that we couldn’t stick to our goal and even shame that we have set ourselves up to fail, again. The decision of having a bottle of wine in the fridge or the snooze activation on our alarm, or the notifications on during study time, though all seem harmless, makes it harder to stick to the goal we are trying to work on. So rather than feeling like we are moving forward, our decisions are keeping us stuck.

Strategies to Get Unstuck

I recently shared on my podcast “Distracted” Ep 71 “Do we keep ourselves stuck?” 3 strategies that will help you get unstuck if you are finding your decisions are keeping your feet firmly in the concrete. I’ll share them with you here.

1. Awareness: The first step is becoming aware of the behaviors and decisions that keep us stuck. Are you hitting the snooze button instead of waking up early to meditate? Are you keeping your phone next to your bed despite wanting to switch off from work? Are you taking a work call at the dinner table? Being aware of what we are doing is the most important step in being able to make a change.
2. Conscious Choice: Once aware, making conscious choices is crucial. This takes awareness to the next step. If you realise that having your phone next to your bed is impacting your sleep or if it is the first thing you check when you wake then make the conscious choice to leave your phone in another room or put it in do not disturb mode. It is making a choice like this that will help shift awareness into action.
3. Compassionate Self-Talk: This is important in keeping you moving forward. When you slip up, avoid negative self-talk. Putting yourself down for making a choice will not help the outcome. Instead, recognise the behavior, learn from it, and try again. Self-compassion is vital in maintaining progress and avoiding discouragement.

Feeling stuck is often a result of our own decisions and habits. By bringing awareness to these behaviors, making conscious choices, and practicing self-compassion, we can begin to move forward. If you're struggling to identify the next step, consider seeking support through my Focus Session if immediate clarity is needed or my Focus Mentoring program to help you not only get unstuck but propel you towards your goals. 

Remember, small, incremental steps lead to significant progress over time.

If you found this blog helpful or know someone who might benefit from it, please share it. Let's help each other move forward and overcome the feeling of being stuck. I can guarantee you you are not alone.

To progress!