Parenting With Connection

I have recently seen an increase in schools and community groups requesting for me to present to their parent groups about how parents can relate to and parent their children when devices have become such a big influence. Multiple requests are coming in weekly. Parents are wanting new strategies, current tools they can call on when juggling in-person parenting with online parenting and this is a good sign. How children are developing and the information and influences they are exposed to are vastly different to when we were growing up. When I say we, pretty much anyone born before 2000 when devices and technology we know today were still in their infancy. 

In the latest episode of my podcast Distracted, I called in an expert in this field, particularly in the space of parenting tweens and teenagers to help share her perspective on parenting in a digital world, an episode just for busy working parents who are finding it tough to juggle the demands. 

Michelle Mitchell is a renowned expert in parenting and child development and I first saw Michelle at the Resilient Kids Conference on the Gold Coast earlier this year. Her passion for helping children and families navigate the complexities of modern life stood out. She presented on the same stage as parenting guru Maggie Dent and the information shared was practical, non-judgemental and was presented through the perfect mix of experience and genuine care. 

I encourage you to take the time, just 30 minutes, to listen to the episode over at Distracted wherever you listen to your podcasts. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio and Youtube.

For those of you eager to learn the main takeaways from the conversation, let me share some here particularly around how we can support our children in a world increasingly dominated by digital distractions.

Online connection 

Michelle's journey into child advocacy started at a young age. Even as a teenager, she was deeply aware of the importance of having a supportive, loving family. She observed how children without such a support system often struggled and felt a calling to make a difference. This passion has continued to drive her work, where she focuses on fostering a sense of identity and strength in children, something she believes is crucial for their development. I agree.

One of the significant challenges Michelle discussed is the feeling of disconnection many parents face in today's digital age. With the proliferation of smartphones, social media, and online content, children are often more connected to their screens than to their families.

Michelle emphasised the importance of parents stepping into their children's digital worlds - without being intrusive. Sharing funny memes or sending inspirational quotes can be small yet meaningful ways to connect. It’s about finding common ground and using digital platforms to enhance, rather than replace, real-life interactions. I do this with my own kids and it keeps me connected to what they are interested in and it allows me to speak their language, even though it is totally confusing and ridiculous at times! It can be as simple as sending a meme or a funny video you saw. For younger kids it might be getting them to show you how to play their favourite game.

Finding what lights them up

Michelle talked about the importance of understanding what energises our children. This isn’t about providing them with endless activities or skills; it’s about helping them discover what truly makes them feel alive. She shared a touching story about how her father supported her entrepreneurial ventures as a child, demonstrating the importance of parental involvement in fostering a child's passions. Having an adult that will encourage and support a child’s ideas and interests shows them their ideas and interests are of value and affairs their sense of self.

For Michelle, a child’s sense of self and strengths is something that should be nurtured well before they leave school. She expressed concern about the growing number of students graduating without a clear sense of who they are or what they want to do, and she sees this as a gap that parents and educators need to fill. 

We also talked about adults finding what lights them up is as equally important in building positive child-parent relationships. Children look to us as role models so when they see us inspired and lit up, they too will look for ways to do things that light them up.

The role of resilience and real-world parenting

Another key theme we discussed was resilience. It is a word we hear so often and a quality adults seem to want children to have. However, do we really understand what it means? Michelle uses a powerful analogy: life is like a gym session, and as parents, we need to be the personal trainers, not pulling our children out of the game at the first sign of discomfort, but instead encouraging them to push through challenges. This, she believes, is what builds real strength and resilience in children.

In our digital world, this concept of resilience also extends to how we manage online and offline boundaries. Michelle suggests starting small—perhaps with a no-device policy in bedrooms or at the dinner table. These small steps can significantly impact a child’s wellbeing and sense of security. Listen to the episode for more strategies and tips Parenting in the Digital World.

Leading the way forward

An important aspect of parenting in the digital world is parents modeling the behavior they wish to see in their children. This can feel a bit harsh for some parents to hear and reflect on. If we want our children to be engaged and inspired, we need to show them what that looks like. This might mean putting down our own devices and engaging in meaningful activities that bring us joy, with and without our kids.

For parents feeling overwhelmed by the demands of modern parenting, Michelle’s advice is simple yet profound: take it one step at a time. Choose one small change that feels manageable, and focus on doing that well. Parenting is not about perfection but about progress and connection.

Parenting in the digital age is undoubtedly challenging, but with empathy, understanding, and a few practical strategies, we can foster stronger, healthier connections with our children. As Michelle aptly put it, our role is to lead our children forward, helping them become resilient, engaged, and joyful individuals. 

So, take a deep breath, embrace the journey, and remember that every small step you take towards connection matters for you and for our kids.

To listen to the episode head on over toSpotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio and Youtube.

With care,

Distracted Podcast Host, Occupational Therapist